Monday, June 30, 2008

Scandalmongers: Round 2

I’m adding to this post because I recently read on The Huffington Post that retired General Wesley Clark is also claiming that John McCain’s military experience is not enough for a commander-in-chief.

Hmmm…that’s a good point, especially because his presumptive opponent has such an extensive military background. Oh, wait. I forgot. The presumptive democratic nominee is Barack Obama. Does he have any military experience? At all?

Nope, voting against the war in Iraq does not count. Especially because Obama didn’t. Because he wasn’t in the US Senate for that vote. He was still a state senator in the Land of Lincoln.

If you want to talk about lack of experience, well, bring it on.

McCain Scandalmongers Should Have Their Mouths Washed Out With Soap

Whoa, you guys went too far.

Recently, the anti-conservative bloggers (to say they are liberal would be an insult to my many intelligent liberal friends; I’ll just call them morons) at CounterPunch and Americablog questioned Senator John McCain’s accomplishments in the US Navy. One story on Americablog asks “besides being tortured, what did John McCain do to excel in the military?”

I’m amazed the author was allowed to print these unsubstantiated claims with no real evidence to back up his bad-mouthing.

After nearly a year of combat experience, McCain survived five and a half years of brutal imprisonment in North Vietnam. If that’s not enough military clout for you, how about this. McCain reached the rank of captain before his retirement from the Navy and has earned both the Silver Star and Distinguished Flying Cross.

After returning from war, McCain became the commanding officer of a training squadron in Florida. Under his command, the previously undistinguished unit went on to win the Meritorious Unit Commendation. He does, in fact, have leadership and command experience in the Navy.

I’m not so much disgusted that the bloggers are trying to taint the reputation of an American hero as I am insulted that they did it without first researching his record.

The counterpunch newsletter draws points from Doug Valentine’s book The Phoenix Program: A Story of Fishing, Fame and Fortune.

If Valentine’s book suggests, as one excerpt implies, that “after three or four days he [McCain] cracked” he should be sued. Seriously, you didn’t want to skim through Wikipedia before writing that? Do a little fact-checking before printing more lies.

McCain was imprisoned for TWO YEARS before agreeing to make an anti-American propaganda video. He was beaten repeatedly the last four days when the North Vietnamese learned his father was named commander of US forces in Vietnam. I would probably have made any kind of video they wanted.

McCain’s injuries left permanent damage. Yeah, it sounds like he totally cooperated with the North Vietnamese. They sure went easy on him.

If you hate facts, or aren’t a fan of logic, check out the stories:

http://www.americablog.com/2008/06/honestly-besides-being-tortured-what.html

http://www.counterpunch.org/cockburn04192008.html

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Panty Party Goes Awry

Macrida Patterson, what was your cornea doing so close to your G-string? Underwear does not go on your head.

Patterson recently filed a products liability suit against Victoria's Secret because she allegedly suffered permanent injuries while putting on one of their V-strings (it's a G-string that you buy at VS). The most ludicrous part is that she filed an unlimited civil case, meaning she is seeking damages in excess of $25,000.

But she's not seeking punitive damages, so that $25,000+ is all compensatory. That's a pretty hefty bill for a poke in the eye.

Based on 30-seconds of Internet research, I would estimate that an ER visit, including doctors and nurses fee, some serious meds (like Morphine) for the pain, lab tests and maybe a visit to Radiology just for good measure, will set you back about $4,000 to $5,000.

As for wage losses, that couldn't be more than another $3,000 to $4,000 -- and that's assuming the L.A. DOT employee was out of work for weeks after this tragedy. So Patterson is seeking $16,000 to $18,000 in "general damages", which hopefully covers treatment for her general stupidity.

I can only imagine how a metal staple managed to fly off of a thong and hit someone in the eye. My best guess is that Patterson may have tried to squeeze into a pair that was too small. Unfortunately, the court may find this was reasonably foreseeable on the part of VS. We girls have been trying to squeeze into the next size down for years. If that is the case, VS could potentially be liable for negligence (in a totally ridiculous way).

We can only hope that the court recognizes how absurd this suit is, and that the judge laughs in Patterson's permanently-injured face.